>> A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little
>> perch.
>> It doesn't have any feet or legs.
>> The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'
>> The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'
>> 'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered
>> me!'
>> 'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly
>> intelligent, and a
>> thoroughly educated bird.'
>> 'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.
>> 'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any
>> feet?'
>> 'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you
>> asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.
>> You can't see it, because of my feathers.'
>> 'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand, and can speak
>> English, can't you?'
>> 'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
>> reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports,
>> physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really
>> ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'
>> The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't
>> afford that.' 'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the
>> truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet. You can
>> probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!'
>> The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot.
>> Weeks go by.
>> The parrot is sensational.
>> He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he
>> understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
>> The guy is delighted.
>> One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes,
>> 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.
>> 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your
>> wife, and the UPS man.'
>> 'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.
>> 'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at
>> the door, in a sheer black night gown.'
>> 'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.
>> 'THEN what happened?'
>> 'Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her gown,
>> and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.
>> 'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him?'
>> 'Yes. Then he continued taking off the gown, got down on his knees,
>> and began to kiss her all over.'
>> Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'
>> DUNNO?!? I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch!'
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