mr. Wells part duex

[Be4u]

I dont understand it. I'm used to having a chaotic lifestyle. This is nothing to me. Everyone is making a big deal out of nothing and it's confusing me. I went out with Carrie tonight and all she talked about was the Hurricane. Thats all she talks about. I'm over it. I cant even talk about it when I'm depressed (which never happened untill recently). It dont matter where we go she always has to bring up that were from Biloxi. She's like "feel sorry for us". All it makes me do is think about the bad. Not to mention that she wasent in Biloxi but for one day! I spent 10 or so days down there. I got the real fuckin' stories to tell. People ask me questions and she answers them for me. She is clueless! Ask Natty, he knows how she wont let anyone talk.

The chick we were talking to was all into what the REAL stories were. Carrie gave her bullshit. I tried to speak the truth But Carrie talked over me and gave the girl my half the story through Carries mouth. WTF? Carrie didnt sit for days without nothing! Carrie was in Alabama with part of her shady ass family who to this day is ripping FEMA and the city of ALBA off.

I'm so done with this relationship! Please be with me while I go through this.

[Be4u]

I'm just seriously wondering something. I know my life was set back but is it really that bad? Am I suppost to dwell in the strife? I want to talk about the unfortunate but I feel that I'm one lucky SOB.

[Recklessrob]

Have you discussed this with Carrie ?

[Gary Wells]

Be4u:
I am with you 100 %. There might be reasons why Carrie is the way that she is, and these might change over time. If you would like to call me about some insight that I might be able to share, please let me know. I am not too sure that everything that I have to say might be "approved for everybody's consumption". If you would like to call me, let me know and I will get off of the computer & pm or e-mail you my phone #. You probably have a cell, and I damn sure that I don't due to expense. If you would like me to post on the board, let me know. I would as of yet judge Carrie a bad person just because she likes to talk when you feel it is your turn to talk. Let me know please.

[Gary Wells]

Before determining what to do about Carrie, and your relationship with her, and before talking with her, you need to know what makes carrie that way. I was trying to avoid putting this in ink, but maybe it's best that way. If I was to guess at things, you and her hooked up pretty quickly, before getting a chance to know each other, she probably does not work, and is not working now, she probably resents you being the sole bread winner in the family, and does not knwo what to do about it. In short she probably doesn't have a "real" life, and is currently living her life through you. As a consequence she has feelings of unworthiness and inadaquatecy in you guy's relationship, but is unable to discuss it. This also makes a person speak or talkative when it is another's turn, so to speak. She basically has no alternative. She will take over the conservation or spotlight because of her low feelings of self esteem. She probably boasts or brags a little too, for the same reasons. Was she this way when you met her. She talks about the flood because she has nothing else to talk about. Should you talk to her? Well, yes, but first determine if you can help her. If she is not working, get her ass to work, "an idle mind is truly the workshop of
well, you know whose workshop, and it doesn't matter if you are religious or not. Only half of this relationship is/was hers. HTH

[Recklessrob]

She is working.

[Be4u]

Yeah I've talked with her about this and other things. She loves dwelling in the past. I never dwell in the past. She moves forward in life buy walking backwards and draging the past with her.

I was pissed last night because we dont have her kids and we had a perfect opportunity to go have fun. Next thing I know we end up sitting at the bar and listening to Carrie tell her hurricane stories. You cant change the subject because everyone is so interested. Once you start talking about it you cant stop.

When I got my wisdom teeth pulled, Carrie asked if we can get free cleanings or something. She tells the girl that were were from Biloxi and while I was in back the nurses were talking about me and the girls would come in and get a look at me....like I was a frickin' circus clown. I dont like this kind of attention.

I dont mind talking about the hurricane with friends or people that I know but strangers always want to hear your story. I'm tired of telling the same story over and over.

Gary, your right about a few things.

[Gary Wells]

FWIW & IMHO:
Sounds like she thrives upon attention. Try showering her with attention till she pukes. She will get tired of it. Make nothing the center of attention other than her till she can't stand it. She will tire of it. Strong possibility that she is envious of the attention that you get due to the hurricane. Is she like this with her friends? Anyhow, I am behind you 100 % regardless of your decision.

[87natty]

Ask Natty, he knows how she wont let anyone talk.

I laughing. I remember that. It's like 6am and we're outside still drinking... Good times. I think she's just trying to fit in or something. Or maybe it's the only she can relate others with? Hmm... You'll figure something out.

[Ttype83]

Robert,
I think you know were I stand on this...There is NO doubt were my family stands  :rofl;

[Be4u]

Robert,
I think you know were I stand on this...There is NO doubt were my family stands

[Gary Wells]

She just wants to belong, and doesn't know how to go about it.

[Ttype83]

Gary it goes deeper than that...

[Recklessrob]

She has alot of interesting things to talk about other than
the hurricane. Like when she showed me the different versions
of Van Gogh's room painting. It seems that once she somewhat knows
somebody, the conversation goes beyond the hurricane. You guys are
still new to your present surroundings. I think once you guys make
some more friends there, things will settle down a bit. This is a time
where patience will be your greatest asset. IMHO

[Gary Wells]

Gary it goes deeper than that...

------------------------------
Oh, I am sure that it does, but I really think that things will improve in the relationship, and the more that a person understand about his "bitter" half, the "bitter", oops, my bad, the "better it is.