R.I.P. Racer X

[DCEPTCN]

For those of us who knew him and loved him, it was well known that he was ailing badly in recent months. For all the bravado and heroic shit-slingery that others witnessed and admired there was a darker, lesser advertised part of his life. Now, I was very close to Racer X and watched him slowly kill himself and I vow to never stand by idly without speaking up again. Sure, at first it was a harmless little Omni at a party or maybe he'd claim to have scored some "really good Reliant" from an Authorized Dealer when we were at a concert...but, before long, he was excusing himself to use the restroom and nobody was fooled anymore- Greg was on what the kids call "The Fury". I cannot honestly deny that I've ridden in an Aries before, but that was just teenage experimentatio n, y'know? Here was my friend, right in front of me, with a debilitating Mopar problem. There *was* one time that I mentioned the dangers of this to him in passing. I said, "Racer X, y'know those Mopars'll end up giving you more than the shits if you keep using them, right?" Always the confident one, he replied "Relax, even at top speed these things aren't really going all that fast...I can slow down any time I want". "But surely you remember what happened to Phil, right?" At this I saw the meaner side of Greg and it scared me a little. "Listen, asshole-" he said, "if I need to get a bit hemispherical in order to relieve some stress from work it's none of your goddamned business". I relented, against my better judgement. Earlier today, Racer X sent me a text message boasting of being at Fontana Speedway partaking in an SRT "driving clinic". A real bender, for sure. I can't explain why, but something within me told me that the K-Train was about to finally catch up with him. Sadly, I was right. At around 4:30 pm Pacific time, I got a call from the class "instructor" (you know, the same "instructor" who gave Greg his first taste of the Mop' Dope). I broke down in tears as I heard about how "...an Omni just can't take a corner that fast, I don't care who's mainlining it!" This time, the apex throttled Racer X. We have all lost a great friend and a beloved (kinda) member of the Buick community. Please, I beg of you people, act out and speak up against this shit that is literally in our streets.

[Zap]

I shouldn't laugh at 6 am, but I am.  :rofl;

When he beats you to a pulp, please have him do it in the afternoon.  

[Top Speed]

Racer X is dead to me.

[Zap]

Racer X is dead to me.

Soon, you turbo Buick owners will be a minority on this board.   All the smart people are dumping them.  :evil;

[Racer X]

For those of us who knew him and loved him, ...

...FUCK MOPAR!

 :rofl;  :rofl; This is a masterpiece in internet literature!

[Racer X]

I shouldn't laugh at 6 am, but I am.

[Racer X]

Racer X is dead to me.

*No need to respond to this, he won't be able to see it anyway*

[gbsean]

all good Buick owners have mopars too...... When I first read this I was trying to think if it was a true story and that the car names were drug references...l ol...I never called them but those names...I mean heard of anyone call them by those names..... :rofl;   you had me there for a minute

[Racer X]

Except that I am no longer a Buick owner either.

[ledzeppac]

Why the hell am I mentioned?!

[DCEPTCN]

Why the hell am I mentioned?!

OMG, it's worse than I thought.

[Recklessrob]

I'm afraid that Sylvan may have an undiagnosed case of Belvederitis, and that he may be the next challenger to join the SRT forums. His knowledge is far to deep to
go unquestioned. This data is all reliant on his latest swinger activities, and the outlook on his horizon isn't good. Hopefully he won't try to put a ramcharger under the hood of his Buick. Rumor has it that he's been seen playing darts with the Dodge boys at the Imperial palace. He even told Zap that he was omnipotent, but that's OK because Zap thought he said impotent. I heard he was planning a trip to the Durango dude ranch where he was going to do a bunch of W-150 with Racer-X.
So hold on to your ballast resistors - you're gonna need them.
 :prayer:  :psix;

[DCEPTCN]

Slow your roll there, Derange-O. I'll never stoop to playing butt-darts with the Dodge-Podge.

[TSM Girl]

You guys are killing me over here.... :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;

[Recklessrob]

Slow your roll there, Derange-O. I'll never stoop to playing butt-darts with the Dodge-Podge.

Have you been watching those French subtitled cartoons on satellite TV like: Snoopy and Le Red Baron, while traveling with a Caravan of New Yorkers on your way home from Plymouth Rock? When you got bit by the Viper, did your hallucinations make everything look like it was neon ? Now that you're a trucker, does that make you a grand voyager ? Do these questions set you in a fury so that you want to chase me around with a colt magnum or blast me with nitro? I think your time would
be better spent watching 300 or re-runs of Mr. Belvedere.